


Broken Bonds

by Gage



Series: LJ-Com Prompts [4]
Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 13:45:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14853917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gage/pseuds/Gage
Summary: "You're not real..."





	1. Noe

**Author's Note:**

> I lost the prompt page this was on, so if you recognize it please let me know and kindly point me in that direction.

   The light from the full moon filtered into the darkened bedroom, casting an almost eerie glow. Between the shadows curling around the walls and desktop, sits a solid figure, jean-clad legs perfectly crossed. Softly humming a nameless tune. A heavy sigh and the body leaps off the desk lands with a heavy thump at the foot of his bed. Fingers reached out and skimmed the dark blue quilt.

  
  


On the bed, Noah Puckerman sits up real quick. His own heart was racing, it felt like he'd run way too many laps on the field. Which was crazy considering he'd just been asleep a few seconds ago. Lifting a hand against his damp face. “What the...” he reached over and with a soft click his room was filled with light. Touching his face again he realized it was wet, he'd been crying in his sleep. He hadn't done that since he was...

  
  


“Noe.”

  
  


Puck does not screech. Stud's don't screech. They do however fall out of bed with a manly yell.

  
  


“You're not real.” Puck can't believe this is happening again. The first few times he could have passed it off as a weird ass hallucination. He chalked it up to the date. Nine years to the date he'd lost his entire world. Puck had no idea how this was even possible. Pinching himself had done no good, he already knew he was awake if the bruise forming on his ass was anything to go by. This sucked on so many levels. Almost as much as trying to explain why he would at times zone out this week. You could only tell Hudson you took one too many hits to the head on a dare before the guy started putting two and two together and came out with crazy. The last thing he needed was Finn to come knocking at his door about this shit with his current girlfriend in tow.

  
  


“I'm as real as you are.”

  
  


“No way.”

  
  


“Come on little brother.”

  
  


The whole 'Just by two minutes' line was right at the tip of his tongue. He scrambled further back when the identical looking teenager stepped further into the light. Puck could only stare as his brother stood before him. Healthy as a fuckin' horse, dark hair cut close to his scalp, hazel eyes sparkling with a smile to boot. It was like looking into a mirror. If the mirror was moving and talking.

  
  


“It's ok.”

  
  


“No... you're dead, I saw you...What part of this shit is okay with you!”

  
  


He was not hysterical, not at all.

                                                                        ~*~

  
  


     If being with those Gleeks taught him anything, it was to keep his cool under pressure. This was no different. At least that's what he tried to tell himself when that ache in his chest seems to spread further out. Puck had spent years feeling like he'd been walking around in a half wake state. As a kid, he'd tell people it was cause he had a hole in his chest. That's what it felt like at least to him. As he got older Puck would press a hand to his chest trying to rub away that ache. It had sort of stopped around the time he'd joined Glee club, not that he would ever admit it out loud. Fuck no. Puck had almost forgotten about it too until that familiar feeling deep inside started to come back right after regionals. It hadn't been so bad, not really.

  
  


  
  


Except right now it felt like someone had taken a knife and jammed it into his heart, and twisted it for good measure. His breath came out in weird rhythms, and he was pretty sure if this was some deranged cartoon his eyes would be three times their normal size. This wasn't happening.

  
  


  
  


The hand on his shoulder is solid and so warm, seeping into his soul. It's starting to freak him out. Especially when those fingers curve around his neck, the sharp feeling in his chest eases just a little. The warmth radiating from the body in front of him was like a slap in the face, palms flat out he shoved the other boy backward. The hard thump reverberated around the room.

  
  


“You're not real.” Stupid thing to say really. Puck had felt the fabric of that shirt beneath his hands, could still feel the phantom touch of his brother's heated skin against his neck.

  
  


“Sure I am, check these  out.”

  
  


If this had been any other time Puck would have laughed at that. No one, not even Finn knew that he wasn't... no. He wasn't going down this road of thinking. It only led to bad things.

  
  


  
  


“Always was my line, right.”

  
  


So much for that. Course he did. That's what he did. Took things that weren't his, to begin with.

  
  


  
  


“That's not a good look on my face.”

  
  


His brother was standing there making jokes. Puck could feel his heart racing in his chest, could feel it moving so damn fast that it was starting to hurt again. The smile that had been on his brothers face slipped into a grim twist.

  
  


“I'm sorry Noe, I didn't think it would be this hard.”

  
  


“Eli.” Shut up his voice did not crack. He'd just woken up from a deep sleep, and an obvious nightmare. anybody sound all kinds of weird too.

  
  


“That's my name.”

  
  


And there was that smile. 

  
  


                                                          ~*~

 

Down in the kitchen he watched as his none-dead brother pulled down an old mug. It was so dusty that you couldn’t really see the original coloring. Puck hadn’t seen that mug since he was eight years old. The day he’d come home from the hospital after the… the accident. He had searched high and low for Eli’s cup. Back then he was so upset that he threw the glass his mother had set in front of him. His own damn mother hadn’t even known why he was so upset, and it wasn’t like he could tell her. The doctors had called it Post Traumatic Stress. His Uncle Greg had called him Stubborn. Little Noah couldn’t understand why his mother didn’t know. Then his sister had started learning how to do things, walking, gibbering around and no one cared about him. No one could see that he was broken. That without Eli he was nothing more than half a person.

  
  


The sound of water running caught his attention. “What are you doing?”

  
  


“Sorry, do you wanna eat the Furrbits?” he holds out the ancient thing like it's infected or something.

  
  


The laugh that comes out of Puck is not at all hysterical. As a kid, Eli had always been a little bit of a neat freak. Any ‘Furrbits’ found under the bed made him jump a mile. It hadn’t helped that little punk David Karosfky had told Eli that ‘Furrbits’ were a fuckin tribe waiting to carry his brother off into the afterlife. He totally deserved that broken nose for scaring his awesome brother.

  
  


“That’s not what I mean and you know it.” This whole thing was beyond nuts. This had already been firmly established. Shit like this just doesn’t happen to normal people. Even if it did. It did not happen to people like him. Maybe to Aretha or Matt, hell even Finn. They were nice enough to warrant a visit from loved ones who’d past on. Not assholes like him.

  
  


Eli turned around clean and shiny mug in hand, sliding it across the marble island. That familiar smirk on his face, the one that he’d seen in the mirror every day since he was 12. Puck stopped the mug just before it could slide off the edge. Shut up, he wasn’t shaky at all.

  
  


“Remember when we made this thing.” Eli tapped the side of the old mug. “We thought we were so cool cause no one else could get it right.”

  
  


Puck also remembered almost giving the damn thing away to some kid with a girly shirt, and shiny shoes who’d burst into tears for not being able to get the same color and molding. This was too weird. “Elijah.”

  
  


His brother sighed and pulled himself up onto the island. For a few minutes, neither of them said anything. “I saw what happened. I know how much it hurt you, Noe.”

  
  


Puck’s blood froze. That knife in his chest twisted just a little more. This is why he didn’t do the whole talk thing. It sucked. If he wanted to play dumb he could, Puck was pretty good at that. It let him get away with a lot of shit he shouldn’t have. Only it was like three in the morning and he still hadn’t figured out how much time he had with Eli. To be honest, Puck didn’t want his brother going away any time soon or like ever. That didn’t mean he wanted to sit around rehashing what’s already been done.

  
  


Fuck that. If he wanted to do that he would have done that therapy shit.

“Shut up.”

  
  


“I’m sorry, I wasn’t there for you.”

  
  


Shut up. This wasn’t something he wanted to hear.

  
  


“I fucked up when I didn’t listen to that kid about the gate.”

  
  


Puck shook his head he didn’t wanna hear any of this. It was done. Over. He was seventeen years old. He didn’t for something that was his fault.

  
_“I can too, watch me, Noe, watch me!”_

  
  


_“You shouldn’t do that, hey, hey are you listening to me?”_

  
  


_“Eli can do anything, he’s awesome like that, so shut up, k.”_

  
The warm hand on his shoulders made him jump. He looked into his brother’s pain filled eyes and wanted to hurt him for making him remember. Wanted to punch that look off his face, and make him bleed for even coming back. He was pissed the hell off. He had every right to be. At the same time, he wanted to throw his arms around him and scream and rage at the world for taking his other half away from him. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, it wasn’t fair.

  
  


“It’s okay Noe.”

  
  


He hadn’t even realized that his brother had pulled him off the stool and into his arms that the whole shaking thing wasn’t coming from Eli but from himself.

  
  


“I’ve got you.”  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 


	2. Not Alone

      When the sun came up a few hours later Puck considered skipping school altogether. He’d gotten very little sleep, and it made him cranky if he didn’t get at least fours hours. As tired as he was though he didn’t really wanna stay in the house not after what had gone down. Fuck no. Eli hadn’t been there in the morning and the remembering part sucked. So here he was dozing off in the middle of class…

 

_“Watch me, Noe, I got this.” Eight-year-old Elijah Puckerman stood standing in the middle of the rickety old cover bridge or what barely passed for a bridge. The boards were cracked and splintered under their feet. The back wall under the roof was all orange instead of black. The singles on the roof are always slipping off, and falling into the water. The old nails stuck out at funny angles, and on one side of the thing, the entire wall had been cut away._

 

_Eight-year-old Noah Puckerman was standing a few feet inside by the entrance that had been blocked off by new boards and a sign. Eli had pulled both down with their dad’s hammer._

  
  


_The boy that had followed them was standing on the bank of the old river. He didn’t even want to come but Eli had talked him into it. “What you’re going to get is hurt, tell him!”_

  
  


_Noah looked back at his brother who was leaning over the edge of the opening on the left side. Someone had made something like a gate to cover it but not by much. He wouldn’t tell anyone but he was a little scared this time._

  
  


_“Tell him, Noah!” The smaller kid had stomped his feet. “That gate does not look safe.”_

  
  


_Noah took a step towards Eli who stuck half his body past the flimsy gate._

  
  


_“Hey, that’s not safe, you can’t do that!” The kid with the weird sneakers yells out._

  
  


_“I can too! Watch me, Noe, watch me!”_

  
  


_“You shouldn’t do that, hey, hey are you listening to me?”_

  
  


_Of course, Eli isn’t listening cause he knows what he’s doing. They’ve done this kind of thing before. Only Eli’s never… Noah takes a deep breath. The kid isn’t looking at him so he doesn’t see how nervous he’s getting. He keeps cool though. Cause only babies lose their cool._

  
  


_“Eli can do anything he’s awesome like that, so shut up, k.” The sound of the water under his feet seems a little louder than before. What gets him is the very loud crack of something breaking. Noah turns around only to let out a yell…_

  
  


**“ELI.”**   
  


It takes him a full two minutes to realize that everyone in class is staring at him. It takes him all of two seconds to scramble out of his chair and run out of the room.

  
  


Screw classes.

 

                                                                        ~*~

  
  


   Puck spends the rest of the morning and part of the afternoon avoiding people. If he thought being in the bottom of the social ladder was bad before (and dam, shouldn’t he be over that shit already), being stared at was ten times worse now. He’s not stupid. He knows how things work at this school, word of mouth spread faster than any bloodshed during a brawl. If you didn’t hear about the latest spazz out when it happened, you sure as shit knew about it by the end of the day. Didn’t matter if you were king of the school or at the bottom of the rung; Puck knew that no one would care about the why. All they would hear was that ‘Puckerman had freaked out in the middle of class, and then ran away like a little girl.’

 

Shit.

 

Not one of his proudest moments but fuck ‘em. Not like they really cared. No one did. No one knew him. No one like…  
  


“Eli.” There his brother stood by one of the main pillars humming that same damn tune. The thing that really bugged him was that he was dressed in the exact clothing Puck had thrown on that morning. Right down to the dam tear in the jeans. What the hell?

 

“Noe.”  
  


“Catch the morning show?” Hell yeah, he was bitter, damned if he was gonna apologize for it though. When nothing more was said he knew that his brother understood. A part of him wanted to hurt someone or something so bad he didn’t care who. Eli always got that part of him. It’s what he had missed before, what he’s always missed and wanted to get back.

  
  


“You're not alone Noe…you never were.”

 

 

“Doesn’t matter,”

 

 

                                                                          ~*~

 

     Standing on the river bank he looked out onto the bridge that had changed his life nine years before. The damn thing was still up. If anything the boards that had somehow held up over the years had become much darker. The entire frame was thinner and bled with rust and holes. If he were a deep kind of kid he would say it was his soul being held together by a mere thread.

  
  


He kicked at the dirt as if trying to let it out. Whatever it was. Puck was so tired. Nothing he did matter anymore. No one cared that he skipped classes that day. No one cared that he’d stumbled into Glee club like a zombie, and just plunked down into the chair furthest from the group. It was a massive blur of events. If someone asked what he’d done after that he couldn’t really tell you, not without looking like some moron. Which according to some people they thought he already was one.

  
  


He had nothing and no one.

 

No Best friend to tell him things would be okay.

  
  


No girl to ask him to stay.

  
  


His mother had her perfect child... she didn't want him. Puck didn't know when he moved but there he stood at the very place that took stole half of his life. He could feel his blood run cold through his body. That ache in his chest a melting into a slow burn.

 

 

One foot in front of the other.  
  


He could do this.  
  


 

_“I don't know about this.”_

 

 

_Eight-year-old Eli and Noah Puckerman stood side by side identical looks of exasperation on their faces._

  
  


_“Don't be...”_   
  


_“...a chicken shit.”_   
  


_Eli reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a box cutter out. “Youse said.”_

 

 

_“I know what I said.”_

 

 

_The smaller boy with his arms crosses his stupid purple shirt stared at them for a long time. Noah knew that if they pushed hard enough the kid would push back. He was smart like that._

 

 

_“Did you at least disinfect that thing, I could get an infection you know.”_   
  


_Eli looked down at the box cutter than to Noah, and back at the kid. “We didn't.”_

  
  


_“You share the same DNA, of course, you didn't get infected!”_

 

_Noah shook his head at the little twerp and took the cutter from Eli's hand. “We cleaned it real good.” he held it out to the kid._

  
  


_Eli moved around the kid before smiling. Noah knew that smile. It was the nice one that they only used sometimes. “Do it, and you won't be alone no more.”_

  
  


“You told me that I wouldn't be alone.”

 

 

Puck hadn't expected anyone else to be around, the soft voice had made his already fried nerves tense. His footing slipped into one of the boards, the loud crack made his heart drop down to his stomach...

 

**Author's Note:**

> IDK who gave this prompt, but I've had it in my folders for some time now. I'm pretty sure I had it finished on live journal but can't seem to find it. 
> 
> Prompt: _Puck knew. He knew when he started seeing his dead twin brother (identical) that something was seriously wrong. Elijah had died when they were eight. He'd been there when it happened. But there he was, standing in front of him and looking like he would if he'd never died. Seventeen. Healthy. Smiling. Calling him Noe._
> 
>  
> 
> _Maybe he was going crazy. Maybe he was sick. He didn't know. He didn't care. Losing Elijah had killed something in him. He hadn't spoken for months after it happened. It never helped that everyone acted like Elijah had never existed. It was like no one cared that all these years, Puck had been missing his other half._
> 
>  
> 
> _And if this was killing him...okay._
> 
>  
> 
> _He was tired of living without Elijah_


End file.
